Spoiler Alert: Personal Branding Is a Dumpster Fire (Until You Own It)

Spoiler Alert: Personal Branding Is a Dumpster Fire (Until You Own It)

Let’s get one thing straight: personal branding is about being positioned, not polished. And if you think slapping “strategic storyteller” in your bio is gonna cut it, I’ve got bad news and a half-eaten granola bar in my kid’s backpack that says otherwise.

Most people suck at personal branding because they’re trying to be liked. You don’t need to be liked. You need to be known.

Challenge #1: “I Don’t Want to Sell Myself”

Cool. Then enjoy being invisible. If you’re allergic to self-promotion, you’re not branding; you’re hiding.

Reframe it: You’re not selling yourself. You’re signaling value. Instead of “I’m great at sales,” try “I build trust faster than your CRM loads.”

Dad Life Parallel: If I don’t tell my toddler I’m the boss, she assumes she is. Same goes for your career.

Challenge #2: “I Don’t Know What My Brand Is”

That’s because you skipped the homework. Personal branding is a process, not just a vibe. You need clear goals, a target audience, and a value proposition that doesn’t sound like it was written by ChatGPT on NyQuil.

Try this:

• What do you want your brand to do for you?

• Who needs to hear it?

• What’s the one thing you do better than 90% of people?

Bad Advice Tip: If you’re stuck, ask your ex. They’ll tell you exactly who you are. Brutally.

Challenge #3: “My Brand Doesn’t Resonate”

Translation: You’re talking to the wrong people. Your brand isn’t for everyone. It’s for the people who can move the needle in your life. Find their pain points. Solve them. Then say it louder than your neighbor’s leaf blower at 7am.

Challenge #4: “I Don’t Stand Out”

You’re blending in because you’re afraid to be weird. Weird wins. If you’re a software engineer with a psych degree, lean into it. If you’re a marketer who used to be a magician, that’s your hook.

Competitive Frame of Reference: Who are you up against? What do they not have that you do?

Dad Life Reminder: My kid wears a cape to school. No one forgets her. Be the cape.

Challenge #5: “My Brand Is All Over the Place”

You’re not inconsistent.; rather, you’re unfiltered. Fix it with a personal brand style guide:

• Words you use (and don’t)

• Tone you project

• Platforms you show up on

• Visuals that match your vibe

Bad Advice Bonus: If your brand looks like a Canva template from 2017, burn it. Start fresh.

Final Word: Your Brand Is a Weapon. Use It.

Stop waiting for clarity. Start building leverage. Make your brand a megaphone, not a mirror. And if you’re not using it to get what you want, someone else is using theirs to take your spot.

“Be so distinct they can’t scroll past you.” — Me, just now.